The 46,348 words about QB Colt McCoy (don’t confuse him with Josh McCown!!!) that follow? Not my dream. He’s mainly on my radar because I love when the camera pans to his parents white-knuckling it in the stands, when Colt finally gets his chance to get in the goddamn game and sling the ball around.
Years ago, Colt’s dad was his coach at Jim Ned High School in Texas. Jim Ned seems like a uniquely Texan thing. Get your tires rotated at Todd Mike. Get some hot sauce from Rick Gary. Or maybe the hot sauce is actually called Rick Gary. Can I get some Rick Gary on these eggs? Tim Bill has been relieved of his duties after inappropriately stacking schnauzer crates in the groomer sprinter. Anyway, turns out Jim Ned was a Native American scout for … the U.S. Calvary.
It’s not unusual to show a player’s parents during a broadcast. But these screen grabs could be Francis Bacon paintings. They’re normal in a David Lynch kinda way. Freighted with unspoken tension. You can feel what’s been building inside DAD as his kid has repeatedly dealt with unlucky shit, and waited as opportunity either never arrives, or quickly vanishes.
During 2014, the three-way Washington QB juggling act of Kirk Cousins, RGIII, and Colt, where, game-by-game, coach Jay Gruden clung to a loser mentality, and messed with all their heads, you can feel Colt’s dad’s seething and simmering and finally blowing his top as the losses mounted and his kid remained stuck on the bench. I’ve imagined him storming down from the stands and letting loose: “You aren’t even the right Gruden, you son-of-a-bitch. Get my boy in the goddamn game.” But no, dad waited patiently for Colt’s chance. Then experienced relief.
Today, Colt seems out of chances.
Let me back up. At the end of his NCAA career, Colt McCoy started getting the shaft.
After that, there’ve been seasons in his NFL career where he did not attempt a single pass. Maybe that’s for the best, actually. Maybe Colt is just NOT good enough. That thought has plagued even him. There’s no shortage of QBs who linger. Safe, boring guys. Clipboard (it’s in there somewhere) holders. But to stick around for over a decade? Something has kept Colt in the NFL. The Young Turks might argue it is his agreeable attitude.
Colt won a starting gig for Browns in his second season in 2011. Then this happened.
Following that, he either rode the bench or had any momentum squandered by injuries:
Didn’t start for the Browns in 2012.
Threw one pass for 13 yards in 2013 for the 49ers.
Named starter in mid-season for Redskins (now Commanders) in 2014, before being benched, then later sidelined again with a neck injury.
2015, 2016, 2017 = stuck on bench.
2018 replaced injured Alex Smith in midseason, then got injured again.
2019 lackluster performance kept him on bench
2020 played a little bit for the Giants.
2021, 2022 back-up in Arizona.
Even when he has success, someone is there to shut his ass up. Witness Tony Wylie not letting him talk about beating the goddamn Cowboys.
Maybe Tony knew that Colt sometimes has trouble making stories that should be interesting … interesting.
Off the field, Colt is even subtly tormented by Wikipedia trolls. Lame.
First year Cardinals coach Jonathan Gannon (scroll down) assessed all of the above and said “Enough is enough.” Cut 37 year old Colt at the end of training camp this year. So today, the Cardinals will put the ball in the hands of Joshua Dobbs, who has thrown 85 passes across a five-year career, and will probably play like that. And Colt, deeply familiar with Fed Ex Field will watch from home. (Then probably get signed when a starting QB inevitably gets injured).