Week 2 feels like 20

you can click on that. (above).

Tua had another concussion. Thursday night. You probably already know that.

I don’t think it’s nuts to suggest that Tua retire. It’s like the first thing anyone should suggest to the guy. It’s not as if we have no evidence to suggest what repeated concussions do to, err, uh, your quality of life.

For the rest of your life.

The dude has had a lot of misfortune in a very short career.

Anyway.

Listening to Craig Carton expound that if Steelers QB Justin Fields has a good game against Denver, maybe the Dolphins should ask if other Steelers QB Russell Wilson is now available. I don’t think that actually helps the Dolphins but it’s better than what they have now.

A digression: The Dolphins have had a lot of bad shit happen in less than one week of NFL Football.

Another digression. Bummer that Raheem Mostert had to sit out.

Another digression: Robbie Anderson is now Robbie Chosen. He was a Jet. He is a Dolphin. Called up from practice squad to play Thursday night. Glad he is still in the league. He has had memorable moments in Miami. If you have no interest in watching any NFL today, you don’t have to. Just click on this pic, and look at 1:31. Then you’re done for the day. Do it. And liberate yourself.

Sad that the Steelers, headed to Denver this, won’t be able to play Russell Wilson in some kinda revenge fantasy against his most recent team. He and Sean Payton loved each other but couldn’t make it work.

Payton also promised that Wilson, and all the Broncos players, would be held to his standard. "You have law and order, as Bill [Parcells] would say," Payton said. "... You come in with this is how we're going to teach, this is how we're going to meet, this is how we're going to practice. ... Discipline, toughness and football makeup is going to be real important for who is a Denver Bronco. There is an element of discipline, there is an element of toughness, and look, it's not for everyone."

The Broncos are terrible. They didn’t get better getting rid of Wilson. “Who is a Denver Bronco” is an awesome phrase. Who is one? Who wants to be one? Why?

The Steelers are supposed to be terrible, but seem feisty, scrappy, a chip on their shoulder. They went into Atlanta last week. And they brought this guy back to the site of his recent firing. And they won.

Arthur Smith is now the Steelers Offensive Coordinator. He was head coach of the Falcons.

Looks better with the mustache tbh. Football is aging this dude though. Either way. And he can’t help that he resembles the quiet guy in the lab who is giving too much evidence to the cops. He wants the attention. For someone to notice! Goddamnit. It takes 3/4ths of the whole movie for a detective who no one listens to to finally get Denzel Washington’s attention.

What about Smith?

Smith?

From the lab? There’s no way he could know all of this shit. It’s been right in front of our faces the whole time.

(pause) Wait, when is the last time anyone heard from Janet?

It would be killer if the Steelers had a revenge game every week. They don’t. They won’t.

It’s 80 degrees in New York today. There’s no reason to watch football.

I’m going to stay inside though and watch stuff like this.

Who names a bobcat Timothy Tom? What the fuck is going on? We deserve JD Vance.

New Orleans at Dallas — Dallas wins. I can’t believe Dak Prescott is now getting $60 million a year. He is 2-5 in the playoffs in his career, and the Cowboys have not been in an NFC Championship game. His annual salary is about what Rob Gronkowski made in his entire career. Jesus.

Tampa Bay at Detroit — I want Tampa Bay to win. They will not.

Indianapolis at Green Bay — Jordan Love injured. Did you see Jayden Reed though? Good fantasy pick up for me. Colts win.

NY Jets at Tennessee — No one is obligated to watch this.

San Francisco at Minnesota — San Francisco is fine even without Christian McCafferty. I’d like the Vikings to win. I don’t think they will.

Seattle at New England — Why do this to yourself?

New York Giants at Washington — Classy Giants fans have a way of turning into depressed Jets fans. They bailed early last week. In Week One. During their big historic celebration. This is kind of like the bobcat family, tbh. Get your kids closer to the flame, dad! Please click.

Not last week but same vibe currently. Commanders will win.

LA Chargers at Carolina — I love that JK Dobbins is healthy. I’d watch this at a Candlewood Suites lobby in Toledo. Other fantasy pick up Ladd McConkey had a TD and also beat Ted Knight in a round of golf.

Cleveland at Jacksonville — “I don’t want to go to another Jaguars game and get in a fight.” But it is inevitable. I have a teal-colored bus that I drove up from Key West and am tailgating alone. None of my friends have woken up after last night. I paid way too much for parking. So I ditched them. They’ll get here when they get here. I have 24 bison cheeseburgers on the grill and am trying to socialize. You like salmon? I got some. Also have some blistered shishitos.

Las Vegas at Baltimore — Baltimore plays to the level of their opponents, so both teams will stumble around today. Baltimore wins. I won’t ask you to watch this BUT I LOVE THAT THE RAVENS HAVE A TOO MANY GOOD TEs PROBLEM. THAT’S EXCITING FOR ME. I don’t have much dopamine left. I mean it is really hard to be “jazzed” about anything but a ONE HOUR PODCAST about this? Jesus. One hour!!!

LA Rams at Arizona — Nah.

Pittsburgh at Denver — Sure. Why not. Pittsburgh.

Cincinnati at Kansas City — No one can spell Cincinnati right, ever. One thing everyone always does now, also, is talk about the grandparents from Willy Wonka. I’ve heard more about these fuckers lying in the same bed in the last 36 months than I did for the previous 40 years. Yes. We get it. It’s not a profound observation. Five seconds of watching the movie, we understand. We know. It probably didn’t smell good. It was weird. It was also FAMILY. Leave ‘em alone. I’d rather have Gene Wilder trivia.

After the debate, I did see a great meme that said some shit like “THEYRE TURNING CHILDREN INTO BLUEBERRIES”

Chicago at Houston — Houston will go off.

Atlanta at Philadelphia — C’mon.