pictured: A wide-eyed hero who overheard you talking about January 6th at the diner. And is waiting in the parking lot with a few choice words, and instructions about where to put your leftover coleslaw.
The Jets are now 2-1, baby. But as a wise philosopher once said:
Let’s not start sucking each others dicks quite yet
These are some youth pajamas-ass uniforms by the way. Bedwetter specials.
Last night’s post-game show was sponsored by JC Penney and these Jets uniforms are right out of a Smuckers-glopped 1977 catalog where it feels like they might be an NFL uniform but let’s not go tackling each other and did you finish your fucking carrots yet?
Why not put your Jets pajamas on!?! They’re 3-11. And their first round draft choice makes a lot of noise about also driving an 18-wheeler and maybe was behind the wheel trying to kill Dennis Weaver in DUEL. Eh, just go to bed.
Last night was also Aaron Rodgers’ first home-game win with the Jets. It feels like a decade in the making. But it’s only Year Two.
It came with some tension. A failed hug after an early touchdown. Coach Robert Saleh DARED to embrace his QB as he trotted off the field. But Coach had been vaxxed. And we do not celebrate that.
Actually, it seems that Aaron is not a fan of getting ahead of ourselves. It was not yet time to go nuts.
And he let his coach know that while conveniently ON CAMERA. Smooth professional moment and/or calculated douchiness. It kinda felt like he was letting the world know who runs the team. Him.
Afterwards, both men explained. Or tried to. It resembled a post-mortem from The Bachelor. Or notes from couples therapy. The hug itself was not aggressive. The reaction and body language of the intended recipient emitted a signal. Chilliness. Isolation. Anyone who has ever felt rejected — PUBLICLY — knows this humbling shame.
Let Aaron find his way to tenderness on his own terms.
And without reading too much into it, he simply might never get to that place.
I know that hurts. But let’s not read too much into it right now.
There’s like a million games left.
He might never be able to match your enthusiasm.
He might never be able to be vulnerable around you.
EXPLANATIONS:
Part of me thinks if Saleh did not try to hug Aaron — then Aaron might have said something like, “Jeez, there’s no joy on this team. Wtf. I’m out there busting my ass and there’s no energy from anyone in a leadership position around here.”
But maybe I’m wrong.
It’s worth noting that Rodgers also doesn’t seem to give a shit about his fave Offensive Coordinator either
It’s also worth noting that if you Google “Robert Saleh Moron” you will find the internet teeming with Jets fans who came to this conclusion ages ago, so they’re likely unsympathetic to the REJECTED HUG. And just want the wins. STFU.
Please click to watch Robert Saleh running stairs before their opener against his old team during opening week. More performative awkwardness. Who knows. Jets fans wanted him to be prepping more. You know. Like a damn WINNER would.
In other news, there’s a new Bon Iver song out today.
Where is this version of Aaron Rodgers today? Where is the joy? What the fuck are we doing?
*offer not good in the United States
they kind of have a powder puff schedule so Jets fans will feel the stoke for awhile until the inevitable wall of reality smacks them down.