What did Brenda mean when she said, “It was fun hanging out so much!!”
Then nothing.
Were we really just “friends”?
What about that kiss? Holding hands at Short Circuit 2? (Wait, was crying during Short Circuit 2 the “wrong” thing to do?) What about that shared pretzel from Hot Sam in the food court afterwards? We dipped from the same cheese cup. Without hesitation.
What about that flirty arm squeeze when I was behind the wheel of my third best Turbo game ever?
Who even is Brenda, anyway?
Maybe I’m thinking of the Vikings last two weeks.
You start to look backwards. And wonder if you got catfished? Wait maybe catfished is the wrong word.
Maybe I’m trying too hard (like right now).
Maybe “duped” is the word I’m looking for.
Maybe it was all a mirage.
11 of the Vikings wins came against teams who aren’t even IN the playoffs. In the harsh light of “the season is over” you wonder if the Vikings actually played teams that are even IN the NFL? Had any of them played football before 2024? Who was the French guy? The elderly punter? The guy taking a nap? Who was the guy in racquetball goggles? The dude with the broom? The fella with open sores? The guy asking for Vicks to be rubbed on his shirtless torso, during a play? These weren’t NFL players.
3 of their wins came against teams who are in the playoffs.
Their 4 losses (3 reg, 1 playoff) came against teams who are still alive in the playoffs. They got thumped in three of those games. (They should have beat the Lions the first time around).
And now their season is over. Sam Darnold, whose comeback story I loved, looked bad. His O-line didn’t do him any favors. What do you do with the guy? He looked totally different than the poised motherfucker we saw blossom this season. The whole team did. And all the confidence you felt (while doubt simmered softly but unceasingly somewhere below) was STUPID.
There were some bad calls Monday night. I suppose Matthew Stafford was passing that ball. It sure woulda been fun if he was not passing the ball.
There were bad and weird calls and non-calls all season. In a lot of games.
It starts to make even a non-conspiracy guy wonder.
And then you gotta see John Hussey’s face.
I don’t know what it is, but the minute I see his face during any game, my mind goes here:
I know I’m in for a bad time.
Then he starts blowing his whistle. And it gets worse.
It didn’t matter for the Vikings. They flat out sucked too.
What do we have left to root for? Jayden Daniels and the Commanders who snuck past Baker Mayfield (BTW, I totally missed out on these antics when they occurred, just found out 4 years later) and the Buccaneers. I’d have loved to see the Buccaneers knock the Lions out. But the Commanders have been winning in dramatic ways for over half the season now. The kicker and his hair and the doink. Fine. Ok.
I like Derrick Henry.
I like the Buffalo Bills.
The Eagles are boring as shit.
How do you NOT wear the bright green all the time?
Why go with the drab, oxidized relish green?
Wtf.
Another NFL season mostly winds up, however, hoping that teams you hate lose.
No Chiefs. No Lions. Get ‘em out of there.