During the haze of a cold, I woke to an open laptop playing YouTube stuff. It had landed on Madden: A Football Life, which debuted six years ago. I never saw it. I like John Madden. Always have. I didn’t even realize he passed away almost two years ago. Growing up, adult dudes in my realm either looked like Sonny Bono, Bob Ross, or John Madden. That was it. Those were your role models. People who either scowled at you on your paper route, spilled gravy on themselves, or taught Driver’s Ed.
Anyway, even when Madden got kinda deep into his own schtick as an announcer, it was fine. He was having fun. Someone else pointed that out. Why bother watching otherwise? His getting carried away wasn’t 1/18th as offensive as listening to Troy Aikman now.
Just three minutes into the show, however, there’s a story from John Robinson (former Rams and USC coach) who grew up with Madden in California. They had big dreams. They went on to achieve them. Before all that though, for some reason it was crucial to share a story about sharing ice cream. The lads loved to eat ice cream together. But Madden didn’t always want to share. To prevent Robinson from eating his ice cream, Madden would spit on his cone. Reader, this did not prevent Robinson from eating Madden’s ice cream. Did you already know this? I didn’t need to know this. I’d made it a long time w/out ever hearing this weird anecdote, which seems to please Robinson more than it should.
If you don’t want to see it…read it, from Sports Illustrated
To hear Robinson and Madden recall their childhood, it was the equal of anything that came after. "If you bought an ice-cream cone," says Madden, speaking of the fifth grade, "and a guy said 'Bites' before you said 'No bites,' you'd have to give him bites. So to prevent that, when a guy said 'Bites,' you'd spit on it...."
"Madden was the only guy who'd ever spit on the cone!" cries Robinson, happily indignant at the thought of it.
"And Robinson was the only guy who'd still take bites," says Madden.
"That got him," says Robinson, still smug after all these years. "He couldn't believe I'd dig right in."
"Aw, hell, it got so you stopped bothering with spitting on it," whines Madden.
Okay.