"Act Like You've Been There" LOL

A very special episode of Happy Days

Sean Payton and Russell Wilson have each won one Super Bowl.

Russell Wilson has played in two Super Bowls. Okay, fine, one of them ended poorly, due to a pass he threw:

He has been a Pro Bowler 9 times.

And yesterday was game 14 of the 2023 season for the Broncos.

I don’t think yelling at Russell Wilson, age 35, is going to change the fortunes of the Broncos. If Wilson is washed, he’s washed. Yelling won’t make him better. It won’t make anyone better.

Yet Sean Payton continues to practice as little self-control as I do in high-pressure situations. It’s fucking stupid.

Then again, the refereeing Saturday night wasn’t helping, either.

Somewhere, video exists of all the Broncos TDs that were called back just on one drive, on one series.

Really bizarre.

Almost as bizarre as the Vikings employing a Scrappy Doo-sized player to help execute the Tush Push two times in a row in OT at Cincinnati.

This is after blowing a 17-3 lead at the start of the 4th quarter. I’m not supposed to be agreeing with Dave Portnoy. Or acknowledging his existence. None of this shit makes sense.

Nick Mullens played OK. And then there were moments he looked like a guy who was saying, “You guys know I wasn’t even supposed to be working today, right?” His effort on those two plays, where he needed four inches, was non-existent. He moved with about as much force as someone putting oyster crackers in their soup. Wtf.

Then Sunday, this guy showed up on the sidelines. Again.

Last Monday night was fun.

But we all knew the bubble was going to burst sooner or later.

If you’re a great agent, why make yourself a main character in your client’s story? Shouldn’t you move in silence, like lasagna?

How much “agent” work is really happening on game day on the sidelines anyway? This dude is styled like a Sidney Lumet character, behaving like a Farrelly Brothers character.

There’s a saying that’s basically dormant these days. “Act like you’ve been there.” It always seemed churlish and lame, and pretty racially coded, given who frequently uttered it, and who was often on the receiving end of it. Basically guys didn’t like to see players celebrate when they scored. Chalk it up to some calcified unwritten rule. Bad example for kids!!! Whatever. I’m sure at some point, I said it. Maybe when Terrell Owens spiked the ball in the Cowboys star at midfield. Or maybe when Gus Frerotte headbutted the wall and injured his neck. Today, I don’t give a shit. Do what you want when you score. We’re all going to die, anyway.

BUT

When you’re an agent? Maybe let your player have the fun. Especially when there’s no guarantee he’ll ever have much of it in the first place. Does Tommy DeVito really wanna look back on his highlights and see this dude wedging his way into everything?I’d love to see Tommy DeVito follow in the footsteps of ex Giants QB Jesse Palmer thing and wind up on The Bachelor, only to have this creep under the bed handing him a condom.

Tommy: But there’s no one here.

Sean: Exactly! Me handing this to you will MANIFEST things. Stuff. Forget about it.